Today’s Pre-Caffeinated Wisdom: “Life sucks. Get a helmet.” –Denis Leary
Disclaimer: I’m not in a particularly good mood ATVM. Probably because I was up too late playing the WoW:MoP Beta way too late and didn’t get enough sleep, but hey, I’ve been running my tail off and haven’t gamed in forever, so I I feel I was entitled. I’ll probably be intentionally offensive, and while I’ll use $ym801$ to replace most of the juicer language, this post is not intended for the eyes of the young. Or anyone with any sensitivity. I’ll probably even outright attack a few friends. Get over it. I’m also gonna screw with the Grammar Nazis, even though I tend to be one myself.

*(Geek reference. Your** lame if you don’t get it.)
**(The first of many Grammar Nazi jabs. Learn English if you don’t get it.)

I gotta say, I’m just not in the mood today. The Obama Bashing sounds pretty much the same as the Bush bashing four years ago. Yeah, I know the governments full of $#!+. Anyone who doesn’t, is either too stupid to realize it, and you’re*** efforts to enlighten the sheeple are doomed to fail to get through to them no matter how many posts you make.

***(Note how I intentionally use ‘you’re’ instead of ‘your’. My reason is twofold: 1. To mock the Grammatically Challenged and 2. to annoy the Grammar Nazis.)

Yes, Obamacare passed. Duh. Be glad it wasn’t Hilarycare. (Or is it?) Yes their (Take that, Grammar Nazi!) trying to take away our guns. Good luck with that. This is the South. Cold dead fingers, and all that. Besides, when The Zombie Apocalypse hits, the anti-gun idiots will be some of the first to go, and those of us with tactical shotguns and hoarded ammo will happily use their corpses as bait.

Social Studies Lesson, people: This Country we live in, which I still love and support the ideals behind, is built on a mountain of bull$#!+. First off, America is NOT a Democracy. If you think you’re vote counts, than you should pay more attention to the elections. I have yet to witness a Presidential Election that wasn’t determined BEFORE the polls closed in Arkansas, much less the time zones behind us, except for the whole Bush/Gore debacle that went on for weeks before being official, and was still contested long after. Of course, my opinion is this: F*** you, Gore. You conceded. You threw your hands in the air and announced that you had given up. That you did it based on inaccurate information is your own fault, and a shining example of why you deserved to loose. You can’t just jump back in and say, “Oh, I could possibly win because Florida’s got there heads so far up their @$$es that they can’t figure out how to punch a chad, or even take the time to actually LOOK at the ballot and figure out who they are actually voting for. It’s a moot point anyway. You’re vote does NOT count!

As I said, this is NOT a Democracy, it is a REPUBLIC. Wanna know how well that’s gonna work out? Watch Star Wars. It’s just to bad that people like me don’t have functional Lightsabers or have figured out how to move things through sheer willpower. Yet.

What’s the difference, you ask? In a Democracy, each citizen gets a vote. In a Republic, we choose people to vote for us. And of course, who do we choose? The most crooked @$$hats we can find that tell us the best lies.

No truly good and honest person would ever be elected to supposedly “Represent Our Best Interests,” because a: the crooked @$$hats will slaughter them in the media because they are too honorable to hit below the belt, and b: They are to smart to want a job having to deal with all the other crooked @$$hats, not to mention all the jack@$$3es they would be representing. Kinda like being a cop: It’s hard to be a good cop, because so many of them are @$$holes that the common citizen automatically associates any law enforcement officer with the rest of the @$$holes, and people in general are so evil and corrupt that even a good cop will eventually be consumed by the curse of cynicism, pretty much looking at the general populace in the same way that the populance looks at the cops; so many people are lying 8@$+@rd$ that they see everyone as a lying 8@$+@rd until some sort of proof to the contrary is presented, and even then, they are so far down the path of cynicism that they probably still won’t accept the possibility that you really didn’t know your tail light was out.

Of course, if America truly was a Democracy, it would be even worse. Look around at the people you know. Not just you’re friends, but EVERYONE you know, work with, encounter, talk to on Facebook, have any association with, or have seen in Wal-Mart. Count up how many of them actually have more than two functioning brain cells and/or actually pay attention to what’s going on, rather then just listening to what the press/media/everyone else tells them. Then count up how many of them are simply f***ing idiots who dilute the gene pool just by being allowed to continue breathing. If ALL of these people had a vote, then the decision made would inevitably be the stupidest decision possible. I may have developed a deep dislike for Terry Goodkind after he went off his rocker and became a combined reincarnation of L. Ron Hubbard and Robert Jordan, but he pretty much hit the nail on the head with The Wizard’s First RulePeople are stupid. My addendum to the rule is that “The more people you gather together, the stupider they get.”

So, when you get all up in arms because the crookedest of the crooked @$$hats rise to the top and make asinine decisions bent on destroying the foundation of our country, just think: What if all those dumb@$$es worshiping sparkly vampires were making the decisions? What if your neighbor who thinks he/she/it looks hot in a thong and halter top designed for a 90lb hardbody looks sexy on their 450lb frame was in charge of healthcare? What if the guy who thinks reality shows are actually real and bases all of his life decisions on the advice of Dr. Phil (or “Dr. Full,” as Denis Leary would say,) was in charge of free speech and/or the criminal justice system?

So yeah. You don’t like where things are going (which is obviouslyTo Hell in a Handbasket). Join the freakin’ club. Thankfully, you still have the right to say and post what you want, (for the moment, (but not really,)) and I likewise have the right to ignore you. Enjoy it while it lasts. But it all boils down to this, which is today’s fecal nugget of wisdom:

You’re wasting your breath. Nobody cares. Those that do care either won’t do anything about it. Those that will do something about it, CAN’T do anything about it. Those that can do something about it, will find a way to f*** it up as spectacularly as possible. Bottom line: You’re screwed, pal.

(I hope you Grammar Nazis enjoyed the misuse of terms and flinched at every misplaced or misused chunk of punctuation. As consolation, pat yourself on the back and imagine me saying, “There, their, they’re.” Nooch.)


— at Castle Grayskull (Zombie Plan HQ).