Ok, time for my Pre-Caffeinated Wisdom: Special Monday Morning Omnibus Edition.

Don’t be afraid to shoot for the Moon. If you miss, there are still plenty of stars to hit.

Whoever said ‘Failure isn’t an option,’ obviously never studied Horace, who said ‘He who does not accomplish anything, is a failure.’ So in that thought, failure is the default option. All you have to do is nothing.

Follow up on failure: Have you ever actually tried to do nothing? It’s not as easy as it seems. Every time I have a birthday or other special occasion where I’m allowed by my wife (AKA ‘The Boss) to choose what I want to do, the answer is always the same: Nothing. Never works out though. Even given the option, it’s still hard to actually do nothing. You might accomplish nothing, but to actually DO nothing? Usually I end up working on a project, watching tv, reading, or typing out diatribes on FB.

Whoever thinks that ADD/ADHD is a made up problem is — SQUIRREL!!!

They say that ‘Money can’t buy happiness.’ I’m inclined to agree. In my observations and experiences, money can occasionally buy things that make you happy for a short time, but usually I find that money just buys misery.

This Paragraph has no meaning or value whatsoever. You just wasted 15 seconds of your life (30 for some) that you will never get back. Sucker.

I don’t understand why people are against gay marriage. If you are against it, you must really support the gay community by trying to prevent them from being as miserable as the rest of us.

Ever notice that when people gripe the most about other people, it’s typically things that they actually do themselves all the time?

Why am I being so obnoxious? I’m a Ninja.

Where do I come up with this stuff? I’m a Ninja.

Why is the sky blue? I’m a Ninja.

Did I steal the whole Ninja line of questions from Ask A Ninja? I’m a Ninja.


I like guns. I have a lot of them. I have a dog that barks when someone messes with a door or window, even out of a dead sleep. I’m a deep sleeper, but I tend to sit up out of said deep sleep with my gun pointed in the direction of people attempting to open my door (I have witnesses, just ask my adopted son, baby brother, and his friend what happened when the maid tried to clean our hotel room at 8am). My neighbor is a strong supporter of gun control, and does not believe in keeping firearms in his house. Which house would you rather rob?

Okay, I had a section on Latin, but it got out of hand and I’ll post it separately.

Don’t sweat the petty stuff, and don’t pet the sweaty stuff.

On that note, chill on all the political crap. You’re just gonna give yourself an ulcer. Your vote doesn’t count. This is a Republic, not a Democracy. Wanna know how that works out? Watch Star Wars. You have no say in who will be elected. Notice, when Obama was elected, the race was called before the polls had even closed here in Arkansas, much less on the East Coast. Don’t like the Laws? Think they need to be changed/stopped/improved? Talk to your Representative/Congressman/Senator. If you want to rile people up, get them to do the same. But just raving about it just make you look like a raving lunatic. Or you could do what I do. Sit back, check in on the circus every once in a while, stock up on ammo, and keep your swords and knives sharp. Besides, the Zombie Apocalypse will make all the political B$ moot anyway.

I also like swords. That way I don’t have to wake the kids because idiot burglar chose the wrong house. Yeah. Did I mention I’m a Ninja?

Ok. I just ran outta smokes. Time to go get more. Welcome to Monday. Good luck, and May the Force be with You. — at Castle Grayskull (Zombie Plan HQ).